REAL HORROR SONGS FOR HALLOWEEN
“Monster Mash.” “Thriller.” “Somebody’s Watching Me.” “Werewolves of London.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know these songs. They’re fun, they’re goofy, they’re classics, but they’re not exactly what I would call scary.
So, with Halloween coming up, do you really want to scare your neighbors and even yourself? Of course you do, or otherwise you wouldn’t have clicked here.
Here are some songs that are all fun and games until someone gets hurt. With Halloween, you shouldn’t have it any other way.
“Mother”, The Police: Track four is the “fly in the ointment” from one of rock’s all-time greatest and greatest-selling albums, Synchronicity. The incessant Middle Eastern melody, lyrics depicting an atrophied mind from isolation and repetition, and Andy Summers’ demented speak-singing, moaning and, ultimately, insanity-fueled laughing? It’s a lot in three minutes and five seconds. Play the song on repeat—it’ll clear your house. Play it loudly enough? It’ll clear your neighborhood. Sidebar: there’s always the alternate version if you want to lure others with a change-up and disappoint them on purpose.
“Arc”, Neil Young & Crazy Horse: You may be thinking to yourself, “Neil, even with Crazy Horse, scary? No way.” You’d be mistaken. “Arc” is one track, one “song,” and, at 34:57 long, technically a full album unto itself. Nothing but feedback, distortion, shreds of melodies from songs he performed on that accompanying live album Weld, and murmured, ghostly vocals sprinkled throughout. It’s a cool experiment, an excellent encore to Weld’s full supper. But it’s deeply disorienting and unnerving unto itself, especially as it goes on and on. Loads of fun.
“Frankie Teardrop”, Suicide: First, the band name and their self-titled debut album is not a warning but a threat. Second, the music’s minimalist, repetitive electronic throb. Third, Alan Vega’s anxious speak-singing (there’s that phrase again). Fourth, the story of an overworked, underpaid twenty-year-old father who decides to put the gun on his wife, son, and himself is a real crowd-pleaser. Fifth, “Frankie Teardrop” is 10:26 of maximum angst and dread, enough to leave you and any other listeners reeling.
“Sister Ray”, The Velvet Underground: You could play all three songs that make up the first half of their sophomore assault White Light/White Heat and you’d have your guests unnerved enough. But for full-blown terrorizing, the album’s final song “Sister Ray” upholds its notorious reputation for a reason: 17:31 of pure sonic and lyrical antagonism. Every instrument is aggressively played with heavy distortion; Lou Reed’s narrative lyrics feature the transvestite amphetamine dealer Sister Ray, sailors on leave, drag queens, and murder. You do the math—if you’ve got enough courage.
“L.A. Blues”, The Stooges: Genius almost accurately describes their sophomore assault Fun House’s final song’s lyrics as “[Instrumental] (Random unintelligible screaming).” When I say “almost,” that description is all Iggy Pop, but does not include the blaring atonal saxophone through the band’s own churning electric guitar chaos. Hide your kids. Maybe yourself too.
“Scentless Apprentice”, Nirvana: I could have chosen the more popular Nevermind’s “Polly” or its nasty instrumental bonus track “Endless, Nameless”. I could have chosen In Utero’s “Very Ape” or “Tourette’s”. But what can I say? Kurt Cobain’s verses escalate from birth to neglect and death, and his bloodcurdling howl “Hey! Go away!” in the punctuating choruses is enough to haunt you for years.
“Climbing Up The Walls”, Radiohead: On OK Computer, every song is climactic, every song is an emotional peak. But this song wins for the album’s darkest moment, chock-full of paranoia, tension, fear, insanity, and murder. Thom Yorke’s delivery of “You know we're friends till we die,” his last lyric in the first verse’s second stanza, signifies one hell of a loaded promise.
My one gripe about my selected horror songs? They’re all pre-millennial. Now that haunts me. Know a post-millennial horror song or two that complements these? Drop it in the Comments below. A horrifyingly memorable Halloween depends on you.
